At the risk of dating myself (not much of a risk, really) I want to talk about two ages. A bygone age of If-it-doesn't-work,-fix-it, and the present age of If-it-doesn't-work-forget-it-There's-no-way-to-fix-it What brings this to mind is a telephone in our kitchen that didn't work. A cordless telephone complete with answering machine.

Now, in my house a telephone that doesn't work is an intolerable situation. Telephones work! Period! End discussion! But it's not quite as easy as it used to be.

In days of old I would see a telephone in the movies, or on television, and immediately identify the manufacturer. In fact, I could listen to the spin of the dial (that dates me) and tell you who made it. I could open the telephone and point out the shunt springs on the dial, and the impulse springs. I knew how to make the dial run faster or slower. I knew what should -- and what should not -- be lubricated.

The anti-sidetone circuit was sort of encapsulated, but I knew that it was set to feed back a slight bit of your voice so that you would know the phone was working. Also, if you were interested in knowing how this was done, I would be happy to explain it to you.

And the transmitter. It was a little packet of granulated carbon that was compressed or decompressed by the pressure of the speaker's voice. That carbon transmitter played a significant role in the original telephone patents, back in 1876

When I opened my no-longer-working kitchen telephone things were different. Except for the slight motion of the 12 push buttons there were no moving parts in the dial. I guess the anti-sidetone circuit was somehow buried in those few computer chips. but there was nothing that could be fixed. And the transmitter certainly didn't have room for carbon granules. Nothing to be fixed. I did look for broken wires -- with a magnifying glass -- but that was futile also.

The answering machine part of the phone bore no resemblance to the age-old answering machine, either. I remember as a very young boy there were wire recorders (my uncle, a pharmacist, had one). Then came tiny tape recorders. Pretty hard to fix, but at least you could see if the tape was moving. Now there's no wire, no tape, and no motion. And I knew that if I wanted to really see what was happening in those integrated circuits I would need a lot of very sophisticated, and very expensive, equipment.

Well, I thought, maybe the telephone's not getting power. At least I can check for that. So I went in search of my trusty volt/ohmmeter. I found it, but that didn't make me feel any better, because the name etched in the housing proudly proclaimed "Heathkit." I thought back; I had assembled that meter 50 years ago. And did it still work? You betcha!! I checked the voltage on a flashlight battery, and it read 1.5 volts. I checked the ohmmeter on a light bulb. It didn't read zero, and it didn't read infinity. It worked.

So I set the meter to a low voltage range, and reached into the open telephone in search of some supply voltage. Nothing. Now that, at least, was progress. I was quite sure I would be unable to do anything productive on the electronics of the device, but maybe I could at least find out why we weren't getting any power. I traced the circuit back. No broken wires entering the telephone. The cord looked good. It was connected properly to the little transformer. But – oh my -- the transformer that was supposed to be connected to the wall wasn't. It had been jarred loose. It wasn't plugged in!

Well, I fixed it, didn't I? And I didn't have to call the telephone repair man. Or buy a new telephone/answering machine.

I suppose the time will come when my Heathkit volt/ohmmeter will quit working. It will likely be due to a problem with the huge wafer switch that selected the desired function. There are a lot of sliding contacts on that switch, and contacts don't last forever. When the meter fails I'll examine it for broken wires or charred components or dirty contacts. I suppose it might be possible to fix the problem, but I well know that the "fix" will cost more than a fully operational, sophisticated, new meter.

The same thing will be true with the telephone/answering machine. Out with the old; in with the new. Maybe, at least, the voice quality on the answering machine will be improved.

Yep. We have left the age of If-it-doesn't-work,-fix-it, and are firmly locked in to the age of If-it-doesn't-work-forget-it-There's-no-way-to-fix-it.

What’s your take on this subject? Leave a comment and get the conversation going.